Bienvenidos a El Paso

This afternoon I called a hostel in El Paso, Texas, to reserve a room for the night. The conversation went like this:

"I guess I need some directions from Interstate 10 East to your place."

"Whale, that depens on whare yer comin' from. Yew know, The Ten goes all the whay from Caleefornia to Florida."

"I'm coming from California, but -"

"Aw, you ain't gon' make it tonight, honey, why don't yew jest give us a call tomorrew when yew get here?"

"No, I'm in New Mexico right now, and am about an hour away."

"Aww! Well, yew jest stay on the ten, and get off on Exit 19, the wone that sez Downtown, then take yer first right, then two blocks up take a left, ye'll be on Franklin. Weee're about four blocks up, right kitty-corner from the Chase Bank. A'chually, yew can can see it from the freeway there. But not from the west, I guess. Which way yew headed again?"

"East."

"Good, then we got a spot fer yew."



I found the Gardner Hotel, which also doubles as an International Hostel, and checked in around 7 pm. I met the man behind the funny talk, who proceeded to give me a set of sheets and dee-rections to dinner and drinks for the night.

"Now ma'am, do you consume alcoholic beverages?"

"Um... Yes."

"Whale, there are four bars on our block, and they might jest be suitable to yew as a woman. Three are gay bars and one is lesbian, that's theeey're choice, not our's."

"Thanks, maybe I'll check them out."

"You goin' to Mexico?"

The Juarez entry point is literally down the block.

"No."

"Well goooood. The food is great, but yew can get that here. The culture is whaaat I worry about. Now listen, for dinner go down the road about eight blocks, weee point south, and yer gonna hit a big ugly sign for 'The Tap.' The decor 'ain't fittin for a woman, but the food is excellent, real authentic, not like whaaat they serve up in Caleefornia. Or Chicago, now there's a Mexican food experience."

I got my sheets and room key, checked out my cell of a place, and thought, damn! My first hostel experience and its in Texas, not even Europe.



Ah well. I changed my shirt (the drive from Phoenix to El Paso did me in), and wandered toward "The Tap."

It turned out to be a straight Mexican bar that happened to serve food, and not even the bartender spoke English. I managed to order a beer (Dos Equis) and some food (a plato con taco, enchilada, and chile relleno), and got a mouthful of some salsa that brought tears to my eyes and made an instant gringa out of me. Wonderful.



And El Paso? Lovely. My hostel window is open, the Texas wind is blowing in, and I'm neither hot nor cold, just content. I'm hoping to go the night without getting a roommate, but since I'm in the female double room there's always a chance. I met some Australian boys in the lobby checking in and noticed them at the same dive for dinner (apparently Mr. El Paso Hostel refers all his folks there), maybe I'll wander around this joint and listen for accents.

Tomorrow, Austin bound. Live music capital of the world, a tour of UT, plus a drive across the state and hopefully some barbeque Texas style. Tonight? Marty Robbins renditions of "Old El Paso" are playing in my dreams....